


Come Back And Haunt Me

by AnnyFay



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Rush (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Colors, Drama, F1 - Freeform, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Implied Sexual Content, Launt, M/M, Rathunt - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 05:46:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8389543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnyFay/pseuds/AnnyFay
Summary: "An Alternate Universe soulmate theory says that everyone starts out seeing in black and white and once they meet their soulmate, they start to see colors."





	

**Author's Note:**

> An alternate universe where James and Niki never shared a flat. Also James entered the 1974 season in the argentine grand prix (the first), not the monaco GP (which was the one he actually started in)
> 
> Those changes don’ really change anything, but I wanted to explain myself for these inaccuracies. Any other controversy is due to the lack of patience to do a thorough research on the 70’s f1 seasons such as their personal lives back then.
> 
> However, we’re talking about an alternate universe so everything is possible, right?
> 
> P.S: Unbetaed, english is NOT my native language

There was an overwhelmed, astonished Lauda inside his brand new BRM car. His mood had slightly improved since he left the disastrous March Team and managed to sign with BRM. Now he looked around and seemed rather optimistic about that season, about his life as well. After all, Niki had risked everything to be noteworthy in his career because he promised to his sceptical father he would be.

But he usually didn’t think about this because the pressure was already unbearable.

Niki noticed an uncommon fuzz some garages away from his own on the pit lane. It didn’t take him long to remember about the new team they had for the season. Hesketh - millionaires playing with real racing cars only because they got bored of holding all-night parties in their yachts.

So he pretended not to give a flying fuck about what was happening in that garage. He put his helmet on and drove towards his position on the grid.

 

~

 

The race went awfully disappointing. Niki retired with oil problems. On the other hand, James Hunt, the rookie of Hesketh Racing, finished sixth. At the podium ceremony, Niki couldn’t help but being extra annoyed. It was not like he was a petty loser, it was just that he was so sick of failing and seeing his father’s presumptuous face in front of him telling how of a disaster he would be in Formula One.

Leaving the ceremony with his head bowed, Niki stumbled across a rather cheerful James Hunt with two women, their arms hanging around his neck, pulling him each one closer to herself and not even considering the possibility they would eventually tear him apart.

“Watch out, asshole” Niki shouted, looking over his shoulder, but they were already gone into the crowd.

Niki froze like his feet were melting and he couldn’t move, and all his thoughts were melting away. In fact, everything was melting away.

He blinked a thousand times, wishing his sight would come back to being black, white and shades of grey.

But he was seeing red, and red it was.

He was surprised to find out how many things were red. First of all, James’ overall. Niki, then, looked at his own, but he couldn’t see its colour yet. Going back to BRM’s garage, the awe stamped in his face was inevitable. Niki had a loose smile and a tenacious curiosity in his avid eyes. Some parts of his car were red. His helmet was red. Marlboro’s logo was red. His favourite sweater was red.

It was only later on that night - while he was lying on the hotel’s bed to get some sleep after quite an intriguing day - that he whispered to the dark:

“Fuck.”

 

~

 

The next colour was yellow. James was blond, he soon realised. Also, the Brazilian flag – where they raced after the Argentine Grand Prix – had a yellow diamond in it. GoodYear’s logotype was yellow and, particularly, Niki’s new favourite colour was, indeed, yellow.

Along with that came orange, brown, beige, pink, purple, a green-ish shade and some other ones he couldn’t exactly label.

The sky continued to be a constant grey mass above his head. It bothered him so much that the only time he could actually see its colour was during dawn and sunset, where orange would blend into yellow just where the sun was about to show up – or fade away – and purple would go ahead over the entire firmament until it finally turned into a pitch-black infinite.

But that didn’t come close to his irritation over the fact he was unable to see James’ eye colour, or his own eye colour, or the colour of his fucking overall. Niki knew – it wasn’t that hard to figure out – that they were all the same hue, the only one he was still kept from identifying.

Niki had yet to deal with whatever happened that night after – let’s say – meeting James. It couldn’t be right, the Englishman was a total douchebag, always mocking the Austrian for his accent, his systematic behaviour, even his _teeth_ – what was wrong with Niki’s teeth, anyway?

James was watching the mechanics fixing his car’s suspension, fingers loosely boarding his chin, frowned forehead. Niki contemplated him for a second because it was too good a view to miss it. James was so beautifully focused, not drunk, not aloof and certainly not flirting with every human being on his radar.

Then Niki stepped into the garage and his expression changed to an enigmatic grin.

“I had that corner” Lauda started.

“Niki, baby, we should be having this conversation somewhere more... private.” James joked. The Austrian could hear some of the mechanics laughing. Hunt put a hand on his back and guided them to outside the garage and into the paddock area.

“You know you’re not supposed to be lurking around here” James gives him a wry look that makes his stomach churns.

“You ruined my race. You know we could’ve crashed”

“Sincerely, your season is ruined already and it has nothing to do with me.”

Niki’s hand tingled with desire to punch James’ immaculate face, but he _was_ being honest. The Austrian let go a brief sigh, couldn’t keep himself from looking devastated. He wasn’t even able to fight back.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” James felt genuinely upset for making Niki have a breakdown in front of him. He thought for an instance and, then, suggested: “Well, that’s why I always bring my first aid kit.”

Niki thought about protesting, but he enjoyed the warmth of James’ touch when he held his wrist as if to forbid him from leaving. He also enjoyed his concernment, so he stayed and let himself be led to the parking lot.

James searched inside his car for a while, and then finally came out with a bottle of whiskey.  Niki laughed bitterly.

“What else could I expect from you?”

“Look, you tried things your way and it didn’t work out. Maybe if you try mine…”

Niki could not believe he would actually fall for that.

 

~

 

They were inside James’ car. Their knees leaning towards each other. Niki couldn’t quite process what he himself was saying. It was something about the way his family had planned some sort of exorcism when he had told them about racing for a living. James laughed excessively and laid a hand on Niki’s lap. He seemed to be completely unaware of how much he was messing with the other’s mind.

The Austrian’s head tilted in James’ direction, still gazing at his hand and its glowing touch. The blond shortened their distance. They stared at each other, drowned in complete silence. Niki suppressed an exclamation.

“You have blue eyes” Lauda whispered without even realizing what had just come out of his mouth. The awe struck him hard enough to make his mind go blank. He couldn’t move, couldn’t even regret what he had said. Then James went ahead. They were just two inches away.

“You too.”

Niki wanted to cry on his shoulder, but it was just the alcohol talking. He wanted to kiss James, but he didn’t, of course.

James did.

 

~

 

Niki won the 1975 World Driver’s Championship.

James married Suzy Miller, and then got a divorce.

They never really talked about what happened that day. However, it didn't stop them from doing it over and over again.

Even when James got married and Niki was bugged beyond the usual; even when the Austrian was being brilliant in Ferrari and Hesketh had run out of sponsors. Even when they were on the edge of killing each other on and off the track.

Seeing colours was already natural. Since that day in James' car, Niki had been sensing all of them, meticulously combined into many others. It was marvellous beyond measure, but it wasn't enough to make him believe James had caused it.

Neither was it for the Englishman.

“I thought she was my soul mate”

They were in the bathroom of Niki’s trailer. James was zipping up his jeans. Niki was cleaning his chest with toilet paper. He stopped for a minute, foreseeing what was about to come from that conversation.

“Why?”

“I met her just after the Argentine Grand Prix. She was a friend of Alexander. Then, you know, my vision…” James leaned against the wall. Normally, Niki would protest and demand him to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible, but he wanted to hear what the other would say no matter how hurtful it could be. “You see them as well, don’t you? The colours?”

Niki nodded and kept quiet. James didn’t insist.

 

~

 

"You should get a haircut."

James was still lying on their hotel bed, whereas Niki went around the entire room getting ready to be on the racetrack by 6 a.m. It was 5.

The Austrian gave him a sarcastic smile.

"And yours is just fine?"

"Messy hair is not for everyone, darling." James replied. Niki sat by his side to lace his shoes, but was soon stopped by the blond who got up and leaned towards him, planting soft kisses on his neck. "I love your hair."

"So why do you want me to change it?"

"Because it would be your flaw. I have so many and you have none." Niki felt his touch becoming more and more invasive. He didn't want to leave.

"You keep pointing my flaws when we're driving. Keep saying how a pain in the ass I am."

"This is what I like the most about you. That's why I'm constantly bothering you."

Niki finally broke the enchantment; those words seemed to waken a displeasing thought in his mind. He got up from the bed and picked his jacket hanging on the back rest of a chair.

"You probably expected I would find it cute, but I hope you remember you convinced everyone to vote against me. Now we have to go there and race at Nürburgring and pray all of us stay alive this weekend."

"You're overreacting." James said when the other opened the door and was just about to leave. Niki didn't turn back.

 

~

 

James turned off the television, couldn't stand any more of that bullshit.

His ashtray was full, his pack of cigarettes empty.

Niki's absence was tangibly painful; a reminder of Hunt's most regrettable mistake.

For some time, he refused to go to the hospital.

 

~

 

"I brought flowers. Then I gave them to the receptionist after I asked her out” James sighed and shook his head.

Silence.

Though he couldn't see through the bandages, he knew Niki was awake. He came closer, sat on the chair next to the hospital bed.

"They started to fade away.” James told him. The two of them weren’t good at expressing their emotions. The blond’s voice came out like a grotesque whistle. He kept going, even though he didn’t know where he was heading. “The colours… they almost vanished. Then I understood, and I thought I had lost you.”

Niki turned his head in the other's direction. James suppressed a gasp at the sight. He had been preparing himself for this pain, and yet it struck him hard enough to lose breath.

He could see the wounds that went beyond the bandages, lightning bolts of raw flesh going from the right of his scalp throughout his entire forehead.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” James questioned him after assuring he wasn’t going to say anything.

“We don’t have to do that just because it’s supposed to be this way, James. Things were good the way they were.”

“They were confusing. Why can’t we try and...?”

“No, James.”

 

~

 

“They've got to cancel the race.”

“The race is going ahead. The showdown between you and Niki is all everyone wants to see”

James got out of the garage and walked in stubborn steps into Niki’s. The Austrian was holding his helmet, looking at his reflex while internally dialoguing with himself.

“I cannot let you drive today.” James said impulsively. He couldn’t express his desire in a clearer manner, however, those words weren’t exactly the best approach he could think of.

“And risk losing the championship? Are you out of your mind, Hunt?” Niki shifted his attention from the helmet to the Englishman.

“I don’t care about it. If you agree not to drive today, neither will I.”

The Austrian looked at him for some time as if considering the hypothesis, willing to accept it and, still, taking it as a cruel joke. James waited, his eyes screaming the despair he found himself into.

They were strong. This wasn’t about the rain.

“Move, James. You’re not allowed to be here.” Niki finally replied, roughly, keeping a stiff upper lip.

“You’re my soulmate.”

Niki knew what he meant by that. They were soulmates; so if one of them ended up dying, the other would be condemned to a lifetime of monochromatic vision, which was impressively worse when the person had already experienced and felt how their lives could be if only they were able to see colours.

The Austrian closed the gap between them, held him by the chin. Their lips met in a dazzling, fiery whim. Niki entangled his fingers with James’ golden locks. The blond put his arms around the other’s waist. They pulled apart, keeping their hands on each other.

“You know my answer.” Niki whispered. James nodded, giving him one of his best pretentious smiles.

“I just needed a reason to come see you.”

They didn’t actually say goodbye. James exited the garage, his presence lingering in the air.

Niki put his helmet on.

**Author's Note:**

> Btw, check out this fanvid I made 'cause this song + launt is just https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WYGbIFkoIQ


End file.
